Omerta

fly fly fly away
such a bore
such a bore
nothings coming my way
nothing at all
a beggar for trouble perhaps
but yes
too much to give away
too much
who cares about socialising anymore
no point
in being envious
no point in trying
amounts to nothing
in the end
(ahah)
its all about that target
is it?
nevermind
i shall sit it out
camp on the wings as always
stand deep
wait for the loose ball
then i strike
as always
as always

no right
no right whatsoever
ive tried to be accomadating
ive given you space
ive helped to defend you
was i WASTING my breath?
are you SERIOUSLY considering giving me that attitude?
cos as much as i try
im only human
more often than not
i fall into tempatation
and i lash out
its inexplicably pleasurable at the moment
you know
tearing down
annihilating
and thats what i
WILL do to you
if you cross that line
perhaps im colder now
im not perfect
perhaps i do deserve some scorn
but to such an extent?
and after i thought we
were on a way to
a good relationship?
thats brilliant.
really
i tell myself to relax
but keep your attitude towards
him and me up
and i WILL show you
what i
what we can do to you
as evil as that may sound.
sigh
must restrain
evil thoughts.
how tempting.
forget it
i shall not sink to such a crass level
leaving you to your self delusion
would be the best course to take
trying to enlighten you would be...
too nice.
sigh
gotta change that attitude of mine.

"whats wrong with you? not enough love as a child?"
"no. just too much given away and scorned."

i feel exasperated
perhaps i shall go beat something
yes i shall

that didnt work
maybe ill go play with dads sword
hmm
maybe not

ahah
without it
with it
what difference?
with it
more complications
more emotion
more love
more distraction
without it
more melancholy
more anger
more irritation
more focus
hm

itll be a hot time in the town of berlin
when the yanks go marching in

i have no idea why i feel irritated
day in day out
verbally abusing under 10 champ jimmy
or just being a b******
i have no reason to
all my friends out there
if ive pissed you off these few days
my apologies
im still feeling irritated
maybe its too much jazz
nono

i wonder if mums right
and you dont care about me at all
i wonder if dads right
and all of you
will fade one day
then im deluding myself
into thinking you all care
perhaps even into thinking
i care about you
11.15 on a tueday night
how
bothersome
bothersome
no one to talk to
should be sleeping
vjc invest tomorrow
but im lonely
bored
irritated
i need my dose of rugby
since debate ran out of stock

ahah
straighten up and fly right
cool down and dont blow your top
fly right


insert vulgarity

posted by S @ Tuesday, May 25, 2004