Omerta

alright
enough of the
cryptic entries
and confusing statements
THIS is my dilemma
THIS
is the problem im faced with

Whether to join rugby in ACSI or not.

there
before i start
id like to clarify
that
there is no way
i can commit
to both
debate and rugby
without one suffering
and here lies the crux of the debate
which to sacrifice?

here i have
debate
a cca ive pursued for 2 years
the cca FOR which i dropped rugby
in the FIRST week of trng in s1
the interest
that ive invested immense hours to
the passion
that seems to be dying out
so thats the question then
i dont deny
that say a few months back
or during our u14s
there would have been no question
it would definitely be debate
but now..
somehow..the desire is no longer there
twice
i missed bits of training for soccer
something
which according to paul
"would never have done before"
and thats true
but
should i abandon something
when the lack of drive
might only be temporary?
should i throw in the towel
at such an early stage
at a point where i
could
develop
and progress
so much more?

then
i have rugby
i dislike quite a few of the members
i dislike one or two of the coaches
on the other hand
several of them are friends
and have asked me why i quit
more
than once
so
if i were to join
i take immeasurable risk
i might not accept the ppl
the ppl might not accept me
i might not be able to endure the training
but
i would be pursuing
a dream
a dream that led me to acs
in the first place
a dream
instilled into me when i was 6
by watching
all blacks matches
when i was 5
haha
i remember
walking from east coast park
to challenger at funan
and i bought my first rugby ball there
was so excited
kept insisting that my dad and i
pass it around
throughout the entire journey back
till he was so sick of it!
yeah
that was a long time ago
all the kicking at the big field
kicking the ball into the forest
playing rugby with the musketeers
touch at blacks
or with kumar and hanwei
in church
and now in centaurs


so there you go
two dreams on diverging paths
two roads
i cant take the centre
path
cos there isnt one
where to go from here?
btw
id appreciate it if you were to tell me your views
instead of telling me to pray
cos i got that already
thanks.


to be or not to be

posted by S @ Thursday, October 21, 2004